A director of nursing from the global department at MGH gave me a paper about the DABDA model of grief. It helps to understand and process the five stages of adaptation. The first stage is in relation to denial and the shock factor. The stage following denial is anger, which is where I find myself now.

I know that anger is not considered a productive or positive emotion but it exists nonetheless. I'm angry at many things, people and myself. I wish there were more available resources, mostly more of everything and less suffering. I want to everyone to share my Utopian ideas of how a society should run, but I know that's unrealistic and not the answer. I don't know what the answers are to situations that I'm currently facing but I do want there to be some light at the end of the tunnel. The question "why" keeps flashing through my head. It seems so simple yet so unbelievably complex in terms of humanity.

Many people ask me what they can do to help. I don't know that answer either since I'm struggling with that myself. I do know that education is power and brings about change. Therefore all I ask is to bring awareness to global issues through talking. Words are powerful and lead to change.

The BBC has done a tremendous job reporting on the most recent tragedy in Dhaka. A large factory building collapsed yesterday after having a known structural problem. The death toll continues to rise but is currently at 200 with around 1000 injured. My heart is heavy desperately trying to relate or grasp the amount of destruction around me. The clothing factory mostly employed young teenage girls who worked unimaginable hours for meager earnings. It was said that US clothing labels were found out in the street blowing around the rubble.

Today, Laura and I met with the nursing director at a private hospital in Dhaka regarding future seminars. It's considered to be the wealthiest hospital in the city. The stark differences between this hospital and the public hospital are unsettling. But I also understand that I don't need to travel to the other side of the world to see health care disparities.

Although this day has been full of major frustration and anger, I also know that each day is a step towards acceptance which will begin the work towards sustainable change. Namaste